Please Don't Do This

Bloggers of the world, I ask of you one thing: Please do not start your posts with an apology. We understand that you have been busy, too busy to post for such a long time. We forgive you.

Any journalist will tell you the first two sentences of any article are the hook. This is your first and only opportunity to rope in readers. Make those first few words count.

If you don't believe me, contrast this lead:

Fifteen years ago, Richard Pascall, a professional hunter and safari guide, bought a fifty-two-thousand-acre farm near the village of Turk Mine, in Matabeleland, the western region of Zimbabwe, and began raising a herd of African black rhinoceroses. He went about this in the usual way: fencing in a large patch of bush (eighty per cent of his land), releasing some rhinos onto it, and leaving them to their own devices.

With this one:

So it's been a little while since I last wrote on this thing. Yeah, it's not that I've forgotten, I've just been busy. But don't worry, this update will be quite depressing and cynical. I promise.

The first one, before I know it, I'm dying to read more about rhinoceroses. I can hardly control myself, it's pulling me away from my work. The second one, I can barely make it past the word "thing" before zoning out.

Thank you.

(Yes, I know I haven't posted in a long time)